Who is Tamar?

The story of Tamar is probably one of the most overlooked stories in the Bible. It is such a short story, but at the same time it is a huge one! Tamar, the daughter of King David (the Giant Slayer). You may be thinking “who exactly is Tamar and why is she so important?” Let’s venture into the life of Tamar and who she was. First things first, Tamar:

  • The only daughter of King David
  • A beautiful young woman who wore special robes to indicate that she was the King’s virgin daughter.
  • After speaking up about her rape, no one really helped her
  • She wore one man’s sin on her, and replaced her crown of righteousness with a crown of shame.

Tamar’s story is found in 2 Samuel 13:1-39.

King David had 19 sons and only 1 daughter*. She was described as beautiful and wearing fine robes that indicated that she’s was the King’s virgin daughter. Just reading this makes you think “woah this woman is special.”

And yes, she is special! She was the princess. A real life princess!

Now, let’s dive into Tamar’s story.

Tamar had a half brother named Amnon and he was desperately in love with her. His obsession was so great he made himself sick over her. His cousin Jonadab saw how he was moping around and asked him what was wrong. Amnon told Jonadab that he was in love with Tamar. Jonadab came up with a plan to have Amnon pretend he was sick to get Tamar to go to him and prepare food for him and feed him while he was sick.

Amnon went on with the plan and pretended he was sick. He asked King David to send Tamar to his house to prepare him his favorite meal. So David agreed and sent Tamar over to his house.

Schemes turned into betrayal

When Tamar arrived at Amnon’s house, she prepared his favorite dish. When she took the food over to him and served him, he refused to eat and cleared everyone out of the house. He told Tamar to bring the food to him in the bedroom so they could eat in private. When she got ready to feed him, he grabbed her and asked her to come to bed with him.

Tamar begins to plead with Amnon not to do such a terrible thing or to hurt her. She even tells him to speak to the King so he can marry her. But he didn’t listen to her and he raped her. No sooner did he rape her, his love turned into hate and he had one of his servants kick her out of his house.

The Bible begins to describe the robe that she was wearing as beautiful and long. That those were the robes the King’s virgin daughter’s would wear. The story goes to tell that Tamar pours ashes on her head, rips her robe and then she walks away sobbing with her face in her hands.

Her brother Absalom sees Tamar and asks her “has your brother Amnon had his way with you? Now my dear sister, let’s keep it quiet – a family matter. He is after all your brother. Don’t take this so hard.” So Tamar lived as a bitter and desolate woman in her brother Absolom’s house.

King David hears of the whole story, but does nothing to discipline Amnon. He ignored his faults on him because he was the first born.

Absolom stops speaking to Amnon. Two years later, Absolom kills Amnon and we learn that it turns into a war.

You can read more about Tamar’s story here!

So where does all of this leave Tamar?

It says that she goes to live bitter and desolate in her brother Absolom’s house. My heart breaks for this woman. After such a horrible act is done towards her, she is told to keep quiet and not to take it too hard. And then her father does absolutely nothing to Amnon because he was the “firstborn.” Where is the hope?

It took one man….one horrible act against her to make her forget who she was. The enemy whispered lies into her ears and made her think that she was not worthy of being the daughter of the King. He made her give up her princess crown of righteousness and trade it for a crown of shame.

woman with face in knees on dock over looking the water

GOD did not put Tamar’s story in the Bible to make us feel like the only thing to look forward to is a bitter and desolate life. I firmly believe GOD put Tamar’s story with that exact ending of desolation because once something like that happens to us, we automatically put the crown of shame on and let the enemy whisper those lies in our ears. BUT GOD does not want that’s for us! HE tells us time and time again that we are worthy!

I am sure every single person that has gone through any type is sexual assault has felt the EXACT same way Tamar did. I feel that Tamar’s story is there for the purpose of relation. We can all relate to her story and we often leave our story to stay the exact same way that it was written. But GOD has so much more for every single one of us!

Her story is NOT over…..OUR STORY IS NOT OVER!

he ismyhealer. exodus15:26

After reading Tamar’s story, the enemy wants us to think that there is nothing to look forward to but a life filled with emptiness and betrayal. Please DO NOT fall for his tricks! GOD wants every single one of you to know that you are HIS princess. We are all children of the ALMIGHTY KING!

GOD wants to rewrite our story!

We get to thinking that we are not important. That the world is either going to eat us up or that everyone would be better off without us. But remember this. GOD loves you so much that HE thought of you enough to make you. And get this…HE even made you in HIS image! How does it get any better than that? What more could we ask for?

We let the enemy whisper these lies over our lives and we believe him. Why? Because we are vulnerable. The enemy knows how horrible sexual assault is and how it makes us feel. And guess what? He uses all of that to use against us in every single aspect of our lives.

It’s time to tell the enemy to pack his bags and GET OUT! GOD wants to break those chains that the enemy has bound us to!

We are here to help!

women gathered together praying for each other.

If you or anyone you know is in need of prayer for healing or hurt in this process, please don’t hesitate to reach out to us. We are here to help you out on your healing journey.

And remember; you are loved, you are valued and you are not alone!